And I wonder why I’m getting fat….

Okay, so I know I’m not fat. But I’m definitely gaining on myself. Why, you might ask?

Because sometimes I don’t wake up in time for breakfast, or occasionally miss lunch or dinner because of a nap. Stomach growling, I will eat four granola bars, or a dozen mini Hershey treats to hold myself over. In the mess I eat reasonably healthy, but meals that definitely lack variety. Sometimes for dinner we go up to the grill by the pool, where they serve hotdogs and hamburgers and other such badness.

Late at night, before I get off work, I might venture upstairs for some pasta and garlic bread, with the pasta made to order… pesto, cream sauces, tomato sauce, veggies, and meat, in whatever combination you like. If for some reason pasta is not to my taste for the evening, there is also a variety of pizza and Caesar salad to satisfy the cravings of my fat cells.

I drink lattes, cappuccinos, frozen mochas and ice coffees from the Cova Café, which I make my way to once, often twice a day. Coffee or tea, and sometimes fresh mint tea in Jack’s office, always with chocolate or cookies to accompany.

In the casino, every night, waiters stroll around with trays of h’or doeuvres. Hot mini quiches, spanikopitas, meatballs, fishsticks, wraps and rolls, baguettes with cheese and fruit and meat and different spreads. Sushi. Not to mention the desserts… bite-size strawberry shortcakes, brownies, apple crisps, and lemon tarts. Cream puffs in the shape of delicate little swans. How can one resist such delectable mouthfuls? They store platters of them in fridges in the back stairway of the casino. I once came close to electrocuting myself trying to get into these fridges.

And this is just ON the ship.

As soon as we get off the ship, our appetites reach new heights. The food in the mess is terrible and there is no variety, we say (it’s true). We will eat GOOD food on land, at least. Forgetting all the random food I gorge on at every opportunity, I eat with a vengeance. Beer battered fish and fries, sushi, burgers, smoothies, ice cream and more ice cream, and maybe, well... I think I feel like more ice cream. For breakfast I once ate two eggs, toast, ham, hashbrowns, bacon and five pancakes. No, that is not a typo. Five pancakes. Don’t forget the fresh-squeezed orange juice.

In Honolulu we like to visit a restaurant, ominously called the Cheesecake Factory. We have appetizers, huge bowls of fresh pasta, cheesecake for dessert, cheesecake to take back to the ship. The cheesecakes have names like Godiva, Belgian chocolate, Oreo mocha and mudslide supreme. They arrive smothered in whipped cream. They are divine. We have been to this restaurant three out of the four times we’ve visited Honolulu.

We drink beer, wine, and blended tropical drinks with every meal. In the staff bar on the ship, Heinekin costs a dollar. A cold one goes down beautifully after a long night of work. Or when you are stuck waiting to get off the ship at 10:30 am. Cheryl and I have actually done this, once.

And I wonder why I’m getting fat.