The Beauty of Home

Home now, taking some much needed time for self. It intrigues me to find myself in the same place as I was when I started this blog, two years ago today. I can see the great distances I’ve traveled since then. I don’t mean just on land, traversing countries, but also inside me, in my heart and mind and imagination. Travel has a peculiar way of changing a person, something I always notice after the fact, but not when I’m out there wandering around. It makes me, I think, deeper.

I feel that my life has reached a point. A point of what? I’m not sure. I just know that I am there. I have quit my job and come home. I am doing things right now for me, things I have wanted to do for a long time. Running, writing, cooking, working outside. I sit and contemplate the ocean and all its moods, the autumn leaves whirling from the trees to land, sometimes, in my cup of tea, the tiny chickadees that rustle nearby with their sweet little calls, the playful squirrel I saw one morning and now look for every day. I notice the clouds reflected in the still water, the grasshoppers I try not to squash on my morning run, the sweet, earthy smell of decaying leaves in the air. I watch my family, a varied bunch, but warm and wonderful people down to the last. I try to freeze moments in my mind, to hold on to these memories forever. I miss Jack, but he will be here soon, and I can’t wait.

Am I the dreamer or just part of the dream? What will happen? What dreams may come? I don’t know. I have ideas. I will apply for a different job on the ship, Jack will eventually come and live with me in Halifax, I will spend some time in Israel, I will travel, I will come home again and again and rediscover it anew each time. But really, who knows what the future holds?

For now, I am here. The world feels filled with possibility, and life is good.

That is enough.

“We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first
time.”

- T.S. Elliot